Howdy Stranger

With all the great titles out this year I happen to think so. Years come and go, video games don’t have seasons or terms, their release dates are affected by many factors.  I don’t think there will be another God of War worth mentioning past this year. We’re also setting milestones with Kinect and the like. We’ll have 3-D and holograph projection to look forward to but this year will weigh in game for game against any other  and comparatively pwn. Even with many of the games listed  being sequels, they are the best of their series so far. Comparing it to movies, if you didn’t see the first Terminator you would still really enjoy seeing T2:Judgement Day for the first time, same goes for Alien and Aliens or Fern Gully to Fern Gully 2.  We’ll take it slow, going month to month. The games I list first are my picks for this year’s best. Then we’ll cut the fat, listing those titles that many review sites and magazines will say are great but I feel are not the best from this year. Also some games I list as the best I don’t even like BUT I respect them because they are beautiful in many many ways.

January

• Bayonetta (01/05) – It’s not just God of War with a female lead. This game looks like you went to Japanese Hell AND it’s published by SEGA! That means it gets +10 points for nostalgia.
• Tatsunoko VS Capcom (01/26) -  We’re doing 2.5-D fighters now and this game is our “X-men VS Street Fighter” in the next generation of Capcom’s Versus series. I welcome it.
• Mass Effect 2 (01/26) -I feel like  people don’t know how good a game could be. This is art people. In my opinion, the best game set in space.

Cut List - These are games released during this month that are held in high regard for no good reason. Some are great games, but not my cup of tea.

• Darksiders (01/05) – I felt like I was playing through a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Dino Riders would have been a better game. Get to work on that Joe Mad!
• Army of Two: 40th Day (01/12) – And on that 40th day still no one cared.  The masks they wear probably hide their blubbering faces: “Wahh! No one bought us!”
• No More Heroes 2 (01/26) – Seeing this game makes me want to play Jet Grind Radio or anything else from that time because that’s when these graphics were new.
• MAG (01/26) – No one plays it. “PS3 has no games”

That’s it for this month. Please do yourself a favor and play Mass Effect 2. There’s still plenty of titles to go over and some that aren’t even mentioned from January because they’re not worth the time. Disagree? Let me know why.
February

• Bioshock 2 (02/09) – Eh….. don’t really like this game or the original but damn it if I don’t respect it.
• Aliens VS Predator (02/16) For me, its the best fan fiction game ever! Movie based games usually suck but this is not the True Lies or Jurassic Park of the SNES. Think of it more like the first Spider-Man movie game and how awesome it was to web-swing for the first time, yeah that’s what I feel when I run across the ceiling as the Alien.
• Heavy Rain (02/23) – It’s different. Play it with a dry red wine seated next to your  fireplace. I suggest going for a of South African Merlot.

Cut List There can only be ONE … game this month worth mentioning on the cut list …. sorry, no Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing

• Dante’s Inferno (02/09) – Gimmicky. I didn’t see a single Space Marine in any of the levels of Hell Dante explored, what gives! When’s Diablo 3 coming out?

Every game mentioned appeals to a certain audience: d0Ods  ages 12 -35. We’ll get to the universally fun games in the remaining months.

March

• Mega Man 10 (03/01) – Mega Man 9 was a welcomed surprise. Mega Man 10 does it one better with Proto Man as a playable character. Finally! It’s only been about 20 years.
• MLB 10: The Show (03/02) – I hate this game too much, but that’s because I hate Baseball. It’s too close to the real thing and that’s the sign of a instant classic.
• Battlefield Bad Company 2 (03/02) – This game made a lot of people happy. Not me though, I stayed on the sidelines whining: “Battlefield 2 was better!” No one noticed.
• Final Fantasy XIII (03/09) – It’s like an opera of Japanese stereotypes. You quickly find yourself fighting waves of samurai pizza cats on top of a giant mech dressed in a french maid’s outfit. Actually, I think that’s how you save your game.
• God of War 3 (03/16) – It’s like an episode of Hercules and Xena produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Kratos starts decapitating people and creatures, scaling mythical mountain-sized monsters and enjoying in the carnal knowledge of multiple women. Much more entertaining than watching Gabriel learn to use a bow staff.

Cut List You might care but you shouldn’t

• Yakuza 3 (03/09) – Hontono shinku-mazi masenko dattebayo, hrumph *cough *cough. Excuse me, got a scratchy throat.
• Resident Evil 5: Gold Edition (03/09) – It’s an expansion, shiny and new. Resident Evil is no longer the survival horror we all fell in love with. Now it’s an action shooter that makes the main character take steroids.
• Pokemon Heart Gold & Silver (03/14) – There aren’t enough pockets for all these monsters, less flush em down the toilet.
• Metro 2033 (03/16) – Bullets shouldn’t be currency, how would you hold up a bank?
• Resonance of Fate (03/16) I wanted this game to be good but after 16 hours of watching the rejects from a Final Fantasy game tap dance and bump into things while I get mad and curse at the screen I gave up. Oddly enough I still want to play through it. Maybe someday when all we get is Madden’s Call of Duty XXII: Mario’s Haloverse.
• Just Cause 2 (03/23) – Wow this game is beautifully dumb.  Just Cause 2 highlights everything wrong with games today. A perfect specimen in a sea of potential.
• WarioWare DIY (03/29) – I’ve played every one of the mini-games on here 10 years ago on newgrounds’ website. FAIL.
• Mount & Blade: Warband (03/30) 2 games from now this series will be good. For now, enjoy the lag as your javelin hits the ground 5 feet in front of you while an archer you don’t see gives you a root canal with his arrow.

We started to see more from the hand-held market this month. There were some PSP titles I left out so far, mostly because their essentially the same game from the console version. Sorry no BlazBlue on PSP mentioned… except for that mention just then.

April

• Splinter Cell: Conviction (04/13) – In some stealth games you have the option of completing it without firing a single shot. In this game Sam “Ironside” Fisher goes on a murdering spree that would put Tenchu to shame.
• Monster Hunter Tri (04/20) – This Wii title is like the Phantasy Star Online of the Dreamcast. Finally a Wii game that uses the internet. Now if they only get Wii sports working online you might actually have a real system.
• Super Street Fighter IV (4/27) – Who saw this coming? Whatever, it’s here, it’s super, it’s Super Street Fighter in their plump Muppet 3D bodies.

Cut List Not the worst place to be. Sometimes it’s a honor just to be mentioned.

• GTA IV Episode from Libery City (04/13) – Bikers and gay club owners aren’t enough. These are expansions, really really good ones, but they do not stand alone.

May

• Red Dead Redemption (05/18) – C’mere you little beauty! First night this game came out we formed the biggest posse ever. Tee hee.
• Alan Wake (05/18) – Steven King: The Video Game. I kinda wanted John Carpenter: The Video Game instead with Kurt Russell as a playable character. Hey, remember The Thing? So awesome.
• Super Mario Galaxy 2 (05/23) – In this installment of the Mario franchise we learn the origins of the universe was caused by a singular 1-UP that kept expanding outwards. Really smart stuff happening here.

Cut List

• Lost Planet 2 (05/11) – If only they made an Exo-Squad video game instead of another one of these.
• 3-D Dot Game Hero (05/11) -  It’s a cuter, 3D 8-bit Zelda knock off. For the price it’s a solid win but they’re treading over well worn territory.
• Skate 3 (05/11) – And we’re going right back to Tony Hawk 2, well done EA. You big spoiled rotten potato.

June

• Back Breaker (06/01) – The physics engine from GTA IV in football game!? It’s nuts, check it out. Mutant League eat your heart out. I’m just glad it’s not another Madden
• Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (06/08) – PSP gold! So nice how this game was made specifically for this hand-held.

Cut List

• Transformers: War for Cybertron (06/22) – I’m not into historical re-enactments. I don’t care how authentic their garb is.
• Singularity (06/29) – Ray Kurzweil would cry if he tried playing this.

Already we’re half way done and listed plenty of amazing titles. I’ll make a top 10 at the end of the year. The top 5 slots will all go to Minecraft

July

• Starcraft II (07/27) – I think Korea made this day a holiday. This game could’ve  shot Kennedy and we would still forgive and love it. I’m no good at real-time strategies but this is still a must have for any pc gamer and now the mac too.

Cut List

• Blacklight: Tango Down (07/07) – I love this game, I played it to death on PC and the 360. Cheap and beautiful and no one ever plays it.
• Limbo (07/21) – What did this kid DO!? Why is he doomed to this fate? This game is really stylish but short. Not worth the monies.